How to talk to a young person about drugs and alcohol
Try not to panic.
Taking a calm approach will make it easier to communicate and will allow them to feel like they can open up to you.
Don't force it.
Don’t force them to have a discussion; being willing to back off shows respect and understanding.
Be open and honest.
If you’re open and honest, it’s more likely that they’ll be the same. Ask questions that require more than a yes or no answer. Listen more than you talk. Focus on the facts rather than your emotions. Don’t use scare tactics.
Ask what's going on with them.
Teenagers often use alcohol and drugs because they have other, less clear issues affecting their lives. For example physical and mental health problems, relationship issues, and in more extreme cases, exploitation. Trying to find out what else is going on in their lives and being patient and understanding will make it easier for them to open up.
Find out about their habits.
If the talk is going well, you can try to find out what they’re drinking or using, how often and who with. This will help you gain perspective on what you are dealing with and plan what to do next.
What to do next
Your next steps after the talk depend a lot on how it went. If you didn’t find out much, keep the lines of communication open so they can talk to you when they’re ready.
If the talk went well then encourage them to speak to us, they do not need to commit to anything other than a conversation either over the phone or in person.
This is what some parents have said about our service:
"We would like to express our gratitude for the help and support provided over the past year. We found ourselves in an alien and scary situation when we discovered our daughter (seventeen at the time) was taking drugs. Emma calmly listened to us as a family but most importantly spent hours talking with her almost on a weekly basis. Her knowledge and advice has guided our decisions and certainly had an impact. We have seen other professionals privately but had a preference to engage with Emma. We all appreciate the help and support provided by Emma and would like to thank her for this. We feel her support was invaluable to helping us to rebuild our lives and wouldn't hesitate to recommend other families would find themselves in the same position to use the service."
If you would like to talk to someone on our team for advice or to seek help for a young person you know then click here. We aim to respond within 2 working days.
"My son was 16 when he was 1st assigned Paul from YDAP, I was at my wits end with worry about my son as he had started to use drugs. I saw my him slowly disappearing and turning into someone I no longer knew. With the help, guidance and support from Paul, I got my son back again. It wasn't a quick fix but Paul was patient and understanding and my son had a great bond with him, making it easy for him to talk about things he couldn't talk to us about. Thank you YDAP, especially Paul for helping my son understand the dangers of drugs and how it doesn't only affect the user but also family and friends."
How to support young people you are concerned about
Don’t use alcohol or drugs in front of the young person.
Give them praise when they do well. Try to show understanding and not focus on the negatives.
This may involve setting clear boundaries and expectations, establishing a routine or schedule, and staying in regular contact with the young person to ensure their safety and well-being.
Try to encourage positive social activities such as go with them for a walk, visit family, go out for food or for a coffee, got to a football match together, or go and get nails done.
Learn what drugs look like, how they are used, what are the signs of use, dangers and how to reduce the risk of the young person coming to harm.
Supporting someone who uses drugs and/or alcohol can put families under huge strain. Looking after yourself will mean you can be more resilient and do more to support them.
Together for Children’s Early Help Service is available to support you with any concerns about your children, your family and your home circumstances. This might be about behaviour, problems at school, housing, debt, routines and boundaries, or other difficulties you're experiencing. Getting help early helps to prevent little concerns from becoming big concerns.
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